Important Bandit Prison closure

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NoneTaken

Owner
Staff member
Owner
Apr 1, 2019
16
20
3


Hey everyone, you are probably here from the discord announcement so I'm going to do my best to not ramble and try to rationalise my points in way that everyone can understand. I'd like to start with saying that this is a more personal thing for me than anything else, so I understand if you have a hard time understanding my reasoning for anything. As always, if there are questions or clarifications to be made, tag me in general.

Bandit was started way back in March 2018 with Elss and Eclipses and I never thought I'd be the last man standing writing this announcement but here we are :O
I have been the sole owner since Elss' resignation back on Feb 2nd and I don't know how to say it other than it hasn't been the same for me since. The plan was initially to close the server once Season 6 was over, but I would rather be honest with everyone than work with a facade until the server dies. I don't like to see it die, and I don't want it to - I'd rather close it and be honest with everyone and then deal with any problems that result from it.

I guess it first became a problem when Season 6 was announced. It took 3 months to make and there's a reason for that, I wasn't motivated to work on it. For a long time it was just Nepie doing what she could and me saying that I will start soon. It was only when I sat down for a few weeks and spent many many hours a day working on it that it was finally done, and it burnt me out. I suppose it was the nail in the coffin for me, that I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do. I think it's become abundantly clear that at core I am a Developer not an Owner, that's where my passion is and if I am going to work on another project, that's the focus I want to have, not to obsess about ultimately damaging things. It was always in the back of my mind that I need to work on Bandit as much as I can, literally whenever I can. I would say no to going out with my family because I would see it as me not being able to do work for the day, and it was a sacrifice that I didn't want to make. I stopped going outside and seeing my old friends and as a result I've lost a lot of my old friendships. It kind of became an obsession to see how much I could get coded in a day.

I found myself putting hours into something that I didn't have the motivation to continue anymore so the quality of the work would slip or the efficiency would slip or I'd just ditch the project all together. I've started many projects and spent hours on them just for them to never see the light of day. It was affecting my health too, I slept less and less and some nights not at all (Thank you to those who got me to sleep lol), and I got carpel tunnel and RSI in my wrist and index finger respectfully. I think I'm starting to ramble but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I should have stopped back when problems came up and not dragged myself and everyone else in further in and made you all think that there were no problems. I wish I had been honest and made this announcement sooner, but that's a lesson I've now learned.

There were some other things too, a lot of quite serious mental health problems recently and especially before I left college, there were times when things would spiral out of control and I'd have breakdowns and lash out on people who don't deserve it. I wish I could rationalise my choice more but it's hard to put into words a decision you make based on experience and emotion. It's also weird to think that so much can arise from a minecraft server but I think it goes to show how much power your mind can have over you. There are times where I've had breakdowns about everything, and I know that it isn't a good idea to continue further. There are problems I need to fix with my life and I want to dedicate time to that and it won't be easy with Bandit in the back of my mind. When you start to get obsessed by progress, numbers, people's perception of you, you start to lose touch with the reason you started and it becomes an unhealthy obsession. I've learned a lot about myself throughout all of this though, and there isn't a moment I would want to take back.

Hopefully I have done a decent job in conveying how I have felt recently and the reasoning behind this decision. I want to apologise now to everyone who I am letting down with this, I know it will be upsetting for many people, but it is for the best, and I can't wait to spend the summer with family and old friends rather than with a monitor and keyboard and I hope other people will do the same. On the other hand, there are many people I want to personally thank: lucax, depicted & Elsa if you are reading this too, you guys are crazy. I remember someone saying that you guys don't get the recognition you deserve and they are totally right; you guys are some of the most talented people I know. Elss, working with you and Con on bandit was the most fun I have had doing anything and I will always remember the good times we had. Con, although it's been over a year since you resigned, I remember it like it was yesterday and those were the days man. Amit & Nepie, you two are real ones and have been here since day way before any popularity and I can't wait to work with you both in the future, Amit you've become almost like a brother to me and Nepie I don't care how many professional manager applications I get sent, I wouldn't replace you for anyone. I could be here for hours writing thank yous and so many people deserve one that it wouldn't have any meaning if I wrote them all, just know that all of you have a part to play in this crazy journey.

The store is now closed.
The server will be closing on Monday (29th June)
The discord will be kept open for anyone to look back at in the future.

Thank you everyone for everything, I owe it all to you guys <3

- NT out​